Why Did You Doubt?

A friend told me today "I haven't been well for awhile now." It's nothing strictly physical, but more emotional. And in some ways, that's harder to fix.

We spoke about how we are all weak. I thought about how most of us think we've got it all worked out, that we are fine as we are. Sure, sometimes we hit a rough patch, but we get by. Sure, there are some things that we can't forget or forgive, but we try not to think about them. And then I think, there's got to be more than this. I don't want to just "get by". I want to live. To take hold of the life that is truly life. (1 Timothy 6:19)

We are all so weak. I think about how it's so easy to tell yourself that everything's fine. But we are all just a step away from stumbling and a tear away from crying and it could all so easily come apart.

Forgive me for such "depressing" thoughts. I have Finals in less than a month and so now it's just revision revision revision. It's hardgoing, I won't sugarcoat it. But even though I very often think that I just cannot do it, I know someone who can.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

And so I'm holding it together, for in him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17)


Favourite song of the moment: Storm, by Lifehouse (from their very first album when they were known as Blyss). Lifehouse's first three albums were amazing. For some reason their music seems to have taken a secular turn in this the new album "Lifehouse", which is disappointing. I've heard it, it's still a good album, but the songs just don't mean as much.


How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
The water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you, everything would be all right
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cos I'm so used to living under the surface

If I could just see you, everything would be all right
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
Now everything is all right
Everything's all right


Jesus Walks on the Water
Matthew 14:22-36

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

When they had crossed over, they landed at Gennesaret. And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country. People brought all their sick to him and begged him to let the sick just touch the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.